I Lost Control Of My Life

I’ve lost control of my life. You’re probably thinking woahh Tae, whats going on!?

I am able to say that I have lost control of my life, because I have given it to God. My life’s purpose isn’t for me to control, it’s for God. What I can control is how I get there. I have a choice to follow the spirit or not, and so do you.

In the past couple months I have found myself losing my control to God and it has honestly brought so much peace into my life. I will lose control in every waking moment of my life, so that I can live in the peace that only God can give.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7


*God said no, to the internship, click here to watch my video where I talk about all this!*

If you don’t know already last semester I applied to an internship through a Christian organization. I’d get to work one on one with students, plan large groups and any other events we’d have on campus. I saw this as the greatest opportunity I could have after college! It’s such an amazing organization. ⠀

But one night I got an email saying that they weren’t going to accept me… ⠀

Now you might find this next part to be weird, but it’s the truth. ⠀

I got that email and I felt relief and trust in God’s plan. That there could only be something greater coming. In those moments I felt more alive than I had in awhile.

All this to say though, that after that rejection, I let God’s peace just fill me up. I have seen the word fulfillment so much recently and I know that he will truly fulfill my every need. It can only be greater than what I eagerly expected with the internship. *I also talk about when God says no in a old blog post, click here*

The next big thing to happen was God calling me to stay home. I have talked up moving to Arizona so much and that is not even what God wants for me. Arizona was something that I wanted for myself. I honestly l think that I was only trying to prove to myself that I could be in control. But God has truly debunked every ounce of control I thought I had.

God has truly wrecked my plans this year. Though I am so grateful that I am able to find the peace in every situation and not be angry with Him. I am learning to follow the Holy Spirit, while it is not an easy thing to do, it will definitely lead to more joy in the future.


Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.

Matthew 16:24


  1. SCRIPTURE. At some point in our lives we cant rely on our parents faith in God to be enough for us as well. We can not rely on little snippets of sermons or quotes to get us through life. It is important that we figure out who God is, for us, in our own time. Setting aside time to be with God is so important and vital to our existence. We have to learn who God is for us. We can only learn what is true of Him and us when we read his word!
  2. Surround yourself with Godly people! The people closest to you are not going to be helpful in you spiritual walk if they can’t feed you the good words of the Lord. They will not do well in supporting you in what you go through, both good and bad. If a person can not lead you to God’s word they probably are not the best person to keep too close to you. I have learned it is not about shunning people, but showing them the love of God and continuing to live the way God has created me to live.
  3. COMMUNITY!! Community has been so so important, outside of the few in my close friend group. At my church at school we had small groups, that would meet weekly to talk about the sermon, pray or simply have dinner. I learned so much about the way God loves us from these people!! I also learned a lot about the way I communicate with others!

Friend, God is up to something we just have to get in on it. Let God speak to you. Let Him into your life.

I hope you are having an amazing Wednesday!

2 thoughts on “I Lost Control Of My Life

  1. I just got around to reading this and it was so beautifully written! Your perspective on life as a Christian and letting God call the shots is such an encouragement to me!

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